Have you felt unusually stressed or overwhelmed during your pregnancy or postpartum period? That's normal! I promise other moms are feeling this way too, even if it doesn't seem like that. Social media posts are just a highlight reel....not what's always happening behind closed doors. So, first, just know you are not alone. Second, take a few breaths and think about what is causing some of these emotions? Are they external stressors that can be avoided, limited, or changed through boundaries or other intentional choices? Are they outside of your control and going to occur no matter what? If you can make small changes to find more calmness, start by doing that. If they are unchangeable, let's work together to find some helpful and healthy ways to bring more relaxation and calm to your perinatal experience. Check out 3 Relaxation Techniques below and even more Actionable Steps to Having A Calm Perinatal Experience.
3 Relaxation Techniques:
5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Grounding Exercise
This simple exercise is something you can do at home while your baby is playing, at the grocery store with a screaming infant, at work during a business meeting, or in the OBGYN waiting room. No matter where you are, what you are doing, this is something you can do to initiate a practice of mindfulness and bring yourself back down to a calm and regulated state when feeling overwhelmed, noticing racing thoughts, or a fast beating heart rate. No one will know you are doing this, and it can help you bring your awareness back to reality, feel more grounded, and engage your logical brain instead of your emotional brain (which is what is activated during moments of anxiety, overwhelm, or stressful situations).
Okay, so here it is...it's all about engaging your senses. You have 5 of them: sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch. Wherever you are, whatever you are doing, start to look around the room and find FIVE things you can see, FOUR things you can touch, THREE things you can hear, TWO things you can smell, and ONE thing you can taste. Don't get caught up in the numbers. If all you can find is one of each, that's okay, just keep repeating those 5 things as you start to bring your awareness to your surroundings and engage all five senses. If you are alone, or with supportive others, name these things out loud. If you're in the middle of a business meeting or crowded grocery store, simply identify them in your mind. If you are home, try even journaling these things to put pen to paper, and slow down your mind as you notice your surroundings, engage your senses, and journal your thoughts and feelings.
Triangle Breathing
There are so many different types of breathing exercises, and triangle breathing is just one of them. In general, taking slow deep breaths, will start to slow down your heart rate, bring proper oxygen flow through your blood vessels and circulatory system, and balance out your cortisol/adrenaline and endorphin hormone levels that can easily spike during stressful situations and moments of overwhelm and anxiety.
Think about an upside down triangle, with the point facing down. Do you have that image in your mind? Okay, let's get started. Take a deep breath in through your nose filling up your lungs and chest imagining you are going up the side of the triangle, filling up those lungs as they get wider and wider. Once you reach that point of the triangle, hold your breath steadily as you imagine the horizontal straight line going across the base (remember upside down triangle with point going down) of the triangle. Then, slowly begin to release the air from your lungs, breathing out from your mouth now as you make your way down the last side of the triangle back to the point where you started. Repeat this type of triangle breathing a few times until you begin to notice your body begin to calm down, your thoughts begin to slow down, and you have a more grounded and clear mind.
Leaves On A Stream
Alright, now this one, is one of my favorites. It gives you a bit of control over the thoughts and even feelings that sometimes seem as if they show up uninvited, automatically, and just take over your mind and body. Leaves on a stream exercise is a bit more complex of a relaxation ritual, and requires quiet, solitude, and intentionality. So, first, find a comfy, quiet space, when you know you'll have a few minutes to yourself. Once you get the hang of this exercise, it will become easier to implement throughout your day.
Are you by yourself, in a quiet and comfortable space and position? Okay, good. Let's get started! Read through this first, then begin the exercise. If you need to take a peek at this again, it's okay, keep practicing until you've got it. Close your eyes, and take a few deep breaths...Now, imagine a stream of water. Let your mind be creative; your stream can look however you like. Introduce leaves to your picture falling down and landing in the stream of flowing water. Just notice the scene as it develops, the stream with water flowing, leaves falling onto the stream, and flowing down the current. Really get the details going, what do you see, hear, smell, taste, and touch in this scene? Okay, now bring awareness to each of your thoughts...even your feelings in the form of a thought ("I feel scared. I feel calm." etc.). Physically put each of those thoughts you are noticing going through your mind, on a leaf, watching it fall into the stream, and float down the stream's current. You may notice some leaves flow fast, some more slowly. Some may even get caught in a ripple or rock in the stream before it makes it out of the image in your mind. That's normal, just notice what you see. It's okay if the same thought comes back, or your mind wanders, that's just what our minds do. Gently and kindly bring your attention back to your thoughts and the exercise, placing them onto leaves, and watching them flow down the stream.
You can repeat this for as long as feels right to you. Take control of those thoughts racing through your mind by having a place to put them, and then releasing them down the stream. When you find that sense of control back over the thoughts and feelings showing up for you, take a few more deep breaths, and gently open your eyes again.
"Adored Mothers Perinatal Therapy Center (AMP Therapy Center) is here to support women and children in empowering them to AMPlify their life." - Practice Owner
Benefits Of Having A Calm Perinatal Experience
Remaining calm throughout your pregnancy and postpartum journey can have long term impacts on the mother's mental, emotional, and physical health. Limiting exposure to external stressors and finding ways to cope with stressors outside of your control are a great first step towards having a calm perinatal experience. Other than the obvious (no one WANTS to feel stressed, especially when your body is going through so many changes), there are great benefits of having a calm perinatal experience, for both you and your baby. During pregnancy, stress or untreated mental health concerns, can lead to:
Pre-term labor
Preeclampsia
Impacts to sleep and nutrition which can result in other health concerns
Increased symptom severity and intensity
Social withdrawal
Maladaptive coping mechanisms (alcohol abuse, drugs, isolation, decreased prenatal care)
Stress and Perinatal Mental Health symptoms can also potentially impact baby's health and wellness too:
Low Birth Weight
Feeding and sleeping challenges
Difficult temperament
Attachment challenges
Emotional regulation issues
Increased cortisol levels and fear responses
All of these possibilities can be a direct result of unmanaged stress or postpartum depression symptoms. If both mom and baby are struggling, and symptoms are left unmanaged long through postpartum, the relationship between mother and baby can be affected as well. It can lead to disconnection, barriers to attachment/bonding, decreased precaution for baby safety measures, developmental and milestone delays or problems arising. Use this information not to scare you, but as a motivating factor to take your emotional, mental, and physical health seriously throughout your perinatal journey. Learn various relaxation techniques to promote calmness and reduce stress during pregnancy and postpartum, so that you AND baby can move towards a balanced, grounded, and overall healthy life.
Actionable Steps to Having A Calm Perinatal Experience:
Engage in Relaxation Techniques
Move your body (appropriate safe exercise -ask your OBGYN or Midwife for your personal limits/restrictions); a 30 minute walk 3 - 5 times a week is a good place to start
Prioritize QUALITY sleep, not necessarily QUANTITY sleep
Be mindful of your food intake: nutrition serves as the foundation for physical and emotional well-being
Stay in touch with your support system and be in community with others
If you are continuing to struggle with more intense, frequent, and lengthy symptoms, consider finding additional support through perinatal mental health counseling
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